This morning as I came out of Waterloo station there was a gang of glamorous looking women handing out what appeared to be free handbags. Of course all the female commuters crowded round trying to find out what was going on and if they were actually able to get their hands on a free handbag, which then attracted more attention.

Once my girlfriend managed to get her hands on one we quickly realised that these handbags were actually a wrap around Sex & The City ad for the Metro newspaper! Makes a change from the usual ink heavy wrap arounds that mess up your hands when you hold them.

Bon idée.

I’ve been commuting everyday for a while now. Each morning I get 1 bus, 1 train and 2 tubes before walking to work. It takes a while so I’ve been reading the newspapers as I travel, just like everyone else (it’s almost complusory). Despite reading The Metro in the mornings I tend to skim the Evening Standard over lunch and read the London Lite on my commute home.

Well today I’m telling them all to fuck off out my life. Why do I read them? To get news? No, I get world news whilst I’m sat on Twitter all day, and most of the time I get it before the papers do.

I once convinced myself that I read papers for creative inspiration. I even wrote a blog post about it on my previous, and now deceased, blog. But now my opinion has changed and I just don’t care who knows it (hence this very blog post).

I no longer believe original creativity can be inspired by a paper that is read by millions of other creative people. It’s more likely to come from looking at the people reading the papers themselves, or looking out the window.

So that’s what I’ll do.

So this morning I’m about to pick up my morning free sheet from the stand of new and fresh papers when I change my mind and pick up a pre-read one from a bench. Yes I know! A used paper! Eurgh! Filthy!

My decision to do this came from continually seeing commuters picking up a paper, reading two or three pages and then binning it. What a waste! So I was trying to be a bit greener by re-reading a previously read paper, as to get more use out of it and extend it’s readership per copy by an extra digit.

However… Now, after seeing this ad (below), I am now considering otherwise.

It’s a thumb shaped finger print on the edge of the newspaper, exactly where your thumb usually lies as you hold the publication. In fact I think this is very clever, I like it, I just don’t like the message (read on).

The copy in the thumb print reads ‘You can catch a virus from a newspaper someone else has touched’.

There’s another thumb print on the right hand side of the paper. Very eye catching indeed.

I like the creativity and thoughts behind the ad, but I have a problem with the message. The brand is for another bloody hand wash and I presume they’re trying to say ‘Wash your hands with this after reading this filthy, filthy newspaper’, BUT THEY’RE NOT!

As a virus conscious commuter and newspaper reader, this ad doesn’t tell me I should wash my hands with anti-bacterial wash, not at all. Instead, it tells me that newspapers are filthy and you shouldn’t touch them unless they’re brand new and un-touched by dirty human beings. How fucking ridiculous?

So there I was being green by picking up a previously read paper when according to Vicks, I shouldn’t because it’s filthy.

So to anyone at Metro reading this, Vicks thinks that each paper should be read only once before being thrown away, probably in a land fill. Thus leaving readership per copy at a grand total of one.